A Walk To Remember

It's been my favorite movie since the first time i saw it, 3 years ago.
And i always thought it was just cuz its an amazing love story.
well it probably was.
but thats beside the point.

I watched it again tonight, for like...the 3rd or 4th time.
LOVE it.
But, i realized something while i was watching it.
i always cry when he finds out she has leukemia. and the normal cry-ie parts like that.
but i started bawling when he goes to his dad and asks for help, and his dad says no.
like, tears dripping down my face. theres a huge wet spot on my bed now.

and i figured out why i love this story.
well theres two reasons.
one: they have a love soo perfect. theres no way i can ever have a love like that. and this is a true story. so love like that actually exists. seriously. perfect love.
but thats the reason anyone would love it.
the other reason: (aka two): he was rejected by his dad so many times. i totally understand his position because of everything between me and my mom.
his dad walked away. my mom couldn't take care of me. she stayed, but i raised myself and she knows it.
but anyways.
despite that, he goes to his dad anyways and asks for help (btw, if you haven't seen the movie, goo watch it before you read the rest of this, cuz otherwise you'll hate me) and his dad says no.
kinda. he says it'll be really hard. and landon just walks away, disappointed. because even though he thought thats what his dad would do, he had hope that his dad had changed, just like he had changed.
and then he finds out his dad paid for private care for jamie, and he goes to his dad, and truly loves him again.
and...i lost it. completely.
and i'm seriously about to start crying right now. theres a tear about ready to fall.
because, that part of the story reminds me of my mom and i. and i love her. i don't always agree with her (k, most of the time i don't.) but i keep trying to forgive her, and i keep getting hurt again. and the same thing happened to landon. and yes i would marry him if i could. XD
but, i guess thats why it makes me cry. cuz it means theres hope. hope that someday, we can understand each other and love each other. maybe not now, maybe never. i'm still in the forgive/get hurt cycle.
but who knows.
anyways.
<3