ugh. i hate the things that happen when i get super stressed.
on sunday chris broke up with me.
and i don't blame him, cuz i was stupid.
and i went the longest 2 days of my life without talking to him.
and on tuesday, i kinda talked to him...and basically all that was said was that neither of us is mad at each other, we both still wanna be friends cuz we're besties for life, and he doesn't want a girlfriend.
and it pisses me off how people keep asking me if i'm ok with that.
no i'm not.
well i am. like its waaay better then not being friends.
but honestly? do u think i'm ok with just being friends with a guy i really really like? and who i know really likes me?
i would give anything to go back and do sunday all over again, so i could not say the things i did.
and i've been pretty ok with the whole thing...i don't like it, but i can live with it. but i keep seeing other couples. and its messing with me.
it was the perfect relationship. well not exactly...but we both trust each other, i know i trust him with my life and i have for years.
there wasn't any worrying that he might leave me for someone else, or that he might cheat on me, or anything like that. and there wasn't any long term commitment or any of the stress i've experienced in previous relationships.
and i think thats because we're best friends. and have been for years. he knows everything about me, so there wasn't any fear of rejection.
and now...ugh. i don't know.
i guess i'm just feeling sorry for myself.
Katie love, I know things seem like they are all for the worse. I know how it is to see other couples and long for what was. please hang on to hope...it will come.
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