a girl i know...

there are things i want to say to her. things i want her to know. but some of them are mean. and i feel like i've hurt her enough, other people have hurt her enough, she's hurt herself enough, that i don't need to tell her more things that will hurt her. not because i don't really really want her to know, i just don't like hurting her, no matter how much she hurt me and my friends.
i want to tell her to grow up. stop saying stupid things about people just to make yourself feel better. and stop scaring the crap out of him just because you want him back. do you honestly think he'd take u back just because of that? really? he's explained to you 5 million times that he doesn't want to fix it, that he can't handle the overreacting and freaking out, that its too soon to know if you love each other. and yet you don't understand. you think he's doing this just to hurt you or because he doubts your love. he knows you think you love him. trust me. saying it everyother second is just going to annoy him. its not gunna make him want you back. you need to stop looking to guys for love, and look to God. he will always love you. and until you learn to love him, and love yourself, no guy is going to stay. especially if you keep making that stupid mistake. stop giving everything you have to them, just because you think you love them and it'll make them stay. you make it hard for yourself by giving them everything and yet not believing anything they say, except that they love you. how do they know? how do you know? you injure yourself when you don't make any effort to understand what they're saying and just turn it around to mean whatever you want it to, whatever it is that will get you attention. whatever it is that will allow you to come crying to me. i can't and won't listen anymore. i honestly don't understand why you want me to. when u left me, and refused to talk to me, just because i changed and you "couldn't be friends with a person like me" i thought that was the end. and so i just accepted that you no longer wanted my friendship. but when you needed me because you didn't know who else to turn to, then you come back. and you don't even apologize until the end. you used me. and i let you, because i thought maybe, just maybe, you loved me for me. maybe you would be the person who hadnt grown up with me that could accept me, could let me be myself. but all you wanted was the caring part of me. the part that can't let anyone suffer. no, i don't hate you. but i'm disappointed. i don't understand how you can walk out, and then come back needing help. and wanting me to insult your boyfriend. seriously? when you left, he kept talking to me. he didn't stop being friends with me just because you did. and he hardly knew me! he begged me to put our friendship back together. so i tried. and you refused. and when i finally forgave you for that, you turn around and tell me something about one of my best friends. something that i know is not true. and you say it like a fact, like everyone knows, and then admit that you don't even know its true!!! i don't understand, but i do know that i'm done trying to help you. you turned me away when i needed you. and think that when you need help i'm just gunna come back and be your savior again.

i dunno who would read this whole thing, and thats not even all i want to say. but i'm tired of typing, and i think its way too long anyways.